Journal Entries of a Hothead
by Lunar-ninja
Summary: An installment in the Chimaera Dragons series. A 'what if' story. What would've happened if Lord Simultaneous HADN'T done the liberty of fixing the Lair? This!


**Disclaimer: **Whoever told you that I don't own the TMNT, they're right.

A/N: A "what-if" story…what if Lord Simultaneous hadn't come to save our heroes' home, eh? _Then _what would've happened? This!

Raph here.

Okay, so you remember how that moron Tiquae blew our home t' smithereens? Yeah, those bombs he planted. There's still bits an' pieces of rock lyin' around, and I was getting' kinda tired of stubbin' my toe in the same spot every day (heck, I should see these things, bein' ninja an' all, but what can ya do?). So I said to Donnie today, "We've gotta clean this dump up."

He looked at me like I was insane. "Raph, even with all the help from Casey, Leatherhead, and the other guys, I don't think we'll be able to move slabs of cement the size of a table very easily."

I'm gettin' kinda miffed at the poor guy. Sure, Leo says give him some slack 'cuz he's been workin' on a solution for that problem of rocks everywhere. I think even he's gettin' peeved at havin' to repair every invention you can shake a Sai at. I mean, the Battle Shell was blown almost into the wall of our warehouse from the blast (though luckily my Shell Cycle ain't damaged much). The Turtle Tunneler pretty much fended for itself, bein' able to withstand lava. My room's toast as it is. The stuff holdin' up the ceiling caved in on my bed so now I have a higher roof, although I'd say there's no roof at all. Plus, it's swarmin' with cockies and there ain't no way they're gonna get me in there. Bugs…hate 'em.

So anyway, I shot a glare at Saesha (sittin' on her lazy bum next to Donnie's arm on his desk), who was still recoverin' from bein' all revived. "Why don't we ask _them _to help out?" I asked.

She yawned. "It'll probably good for me to exercise my telekinetic skills anyway."

I did a little shrugging gesture towards that lazy dragon. "See? The Plum Princess agrees!" The pipsqueak looked like she could kill me for that remark.

"Watch your thoughts, Raphael, I'm _not _a pipsqueak." A pox on that stupid mind reading ability! Heck, I should just stop thinkin' altogether! Then she grinned. _Oh shell I did it again…_"If you would stop thinking, yes, that would save you boatloads of pain."

Donnie sighed and massaged his temples (why the shell are they called temples? don't look very stony t' me!). "Look, Raph, why don't you see what Rijinn's up to?"

I jabbed a thumb out the door. "I already know what he's up to. Sleepin' like a baby." Okay, now he's getting tired of me. I can tell because his tail started twitching. "Fine, I'll go see what Mike's up to! Sheesh, try t' suggest somethin' and they shoot it down!" I grumbled, stalking out the door.

I heard Don sigh and whisper, "Saesha, can you try to steal his Sais tonight? I'd like to paint them yellow." Oh, he _knows _well 'nough that my least fav'rite color is yellow.

"Heard that, Donnie, and you'd better not!" I yelled back at him. Then I heard a "Yeow, watch that burner, Iwansi!" and a "Augh! Klunk, get off of there!" Oh yeah. Mike's havin' a grand old time in the kitchen, I'll bet.

Then I saw Bima, frustrated, aim a kick at Leo's leg, hitting his shin. She may look like a weakling, but she packs a powerful punch. Trust me, I've been on the receivin' end of one of her kicks an' the results ain't pretty. "…No, higher, Bima, you've got you raise your kiiiiick!" Leo flew past me into the wall. He groaned as I smirked. I've been wantin' to see him get decked for a long time now.

"Hah! Too high for you, Sensei?" Bima called sweetly from the dojo. Oops, sorry. My bad. We've been practicin' in one half of the dojo, since rubble and slabs of cement cover the other half of it. It's been a little harder on Master Splinter, since he can't work us as hard (sometimes when all the dragons are practicin' with us, we overlap into the wall and across the bridge). Me, I'm cool with it. We get more sparrin' partners than usual which means I have a chance t' kick dragon butt as well as turtle butt. Not bad, eh?

Don: Hold up, HOLD UP! You forgot one part. Raph's usually getting fried by all of the dragon siblings because they have super powered limbs.

Shut your trap, Donnie. I'm tellin' the story. Go back to your tinkerin', will ya?

Don: Just telling it like it is, Raph.

'Kay, so anyway…

"Hey, thanks for teachin' him a lesson!" I waved at her.

Leo staggered to his feet. "Ouch…Raph, wanna switch places?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I'll letcha take your medicine a little while longer, Fearless Leader."

"Hey Raph! Think fast!" There was a whistle an' I had to duck to keep from becomin' Aireilei's newest pincushion. The arrow thunked into the wall behind me, quiverin' like some possessed stick. She stood by Don's subway car, smiling evilly.

"Don wouldn't have told you to do that, by any chance?"

"No," she replied innocently, hiding her bow behind her back. Humph. Dragons. Think they know everything about how t' cover up a lie.

Then Mike screamed in pain. "My finger! Ow! Iwansi, you chopped it off!" he exclaimed, horrified. I bolted toward the kitchen to see the floor covered in a red substance and Mike's index finger drippin' the stuff.

"What'd you do?" I demanded, getting up in Iwansi's face. Suddenly she burst out laughing, tryin' to keep from fallin' into the burner. I half felt the urge to push her along into the fire. There ain't nothin' funny about this!

That annoying sound of Mike chucklin' at my expense filled my ears. Oh, to punch that little shell-for-brains… "Oh, Raph, the look on your face!" Mike giggled, holdin' his stomach. Oookay, somethin' is seriously wrong here. He chopped off his finger an' he's _laughing_?

Needless to say, I was confused beyond the point of no return. "What…?"

He held up his red hand in hysterics. "Heheh, strawberry juice, bro!"

I glared at him. "Hahah, Mike. Very funny." Yeah right! He nearly had me in hysterics too – the bad an' embarrassing kind!

On my way out of the kitchen, I almost ran into Master Splinter. He had the absolute funniest look on his face an' I'm sorry to say that I nearly burst out laughing because of it. "What is wrong with Michelangelo?" he asked, concern evident in his…er, Japanese accented voice.

"Nothin', Sensei. He just fooled me into thinkin' he cut his finger off."

"I see." His recently shortened tail twitched. "I shall have to have a few words with him then, as losing a limb or appendage is no laughing matter."

We know, Sensei. Found that out a long time ago, when you came home with a bloody foot-long stump for a tail. I watched him enter the kitchen an' Mike immediately cut back on his gigglefest. Serves you right. An' yet again, I heard a whistle, ducking another arrow. "Will ya stop shootin' at me, Aireilei?" I bellowed, throwing my arms in the air. "I swear, I'm gonna move out one of these days!"

Gettin' back to the point of this story, I looked around for Kiyo, knowin' he'd be sympathetic to my cause. Wasn't long before I found him layin' on the couch, watchin' with interest the little snot bubble that inflated an' deflated out of Rijinn's nostril. Heh, what a wierdo! "Kiyo, you think it's time we cleaned up this hell hole?" I asked quietly, keepin' my voice down for Rijinn's sake.

He looked kinda quizzically at me. "Well, yes, I do. Why?"

"I asked Donnie about it an' he said it was impossible."

He got up and stretched. "I'd be glad to help, Raphael," he yawned. I held out my arm an' he hopped aboard. Call me a card, but I like Leo's dragon better than Leo himself. "Thank you," he said softly, gazin' at me with liquid green eyes. _Crap, he heard me…_

"Don't you go tellin' Rijinn or Mr. Wet Blanket about it, though," I warned, bouncing him up and down on my forearm.

"Your secret's safe with me."

I started walkin' toward my room. "Uh, yeah." What can I say? I'm awkward with 'thank you's.

"What did you plan on doing first?" Hmm, good question, I hadn't even thought of that! "You don't know?" I'm really beginnin' t' hate that mind readin' ability. "Well, we could start on your room. I can throw large rocks out if you want me to."

"If ya can, try an' make 'em land on Aireilei's head, will ya?"

He gave me a stern look. "I'll have none of that."

"Yes mother." I jumped up to the second level, squeezing through the caved-in doorway. "First thing's first: can you get rid of all the cockies?"

He cocked his head. "Cockies?"

"Cockroaches."

"Ah. I see. And you are afraid of them?"

I felt myself flush with embarrassment but turned my head. "I'm not afraid, just hate 'em," I mumbled, scratching my head.

"Riiiight." So the guy lit up the room with a bit o' dragon flame, spotted them nasty roaches an' fried 'em to a crisp (it smelled purty bad in there). "Satisfactory?"

"Yup."

He jumped off my shoulder an' fluttered to a landing on the rubble-covered floor. His eyes lit up to this bright creepy green an' he raised his fan tail (I swear, that thing makes me laugh at the sight of it) t' release a nice fat whirlwind on a hefty sized boulder sittin' on my smashed bed. Without a second thought, Kiyo pitched it out the door. The result was an outraged yell from Leo, whom I assume had resumed his training with Bima.

"Hey, watch where you're throwing those!" he bellowed. Make me.

I winked at the little bugger. "Make the next one land on his head."

'Bout an hour later, we had the entire room spiffed up and clean. "I never would have believed it myself had I not had an element at my side," Kiyo confided to me. The guy doesn't get out much, I can tell. Then I heard scrambling and quick as a flash whirled around. Oh, if it's a roach…

"Hey, guys, need a little help?" Plum Princess to the rescue. She glared at me. Shell, I gotta stop bein' so idiotic! "It's your nature, Raphael." Where's a pie when ya need one?

"No, we're finished here, sis. We could start on the dojo if you like." Oh man, what I would give for a day of not stubbin' my toes when I land from an airborne snap kick! I quick nodded an' she gave me this weird look.

"We're gonna need more fire power," I mused.

"I'll send a message to Leatherhead telepathically," Saesha replied, shuttin' her eyes. Humph. She finished in about two seconds. "He's coming." Cavalry's arrived!

"'Kay, let's boot Leo an' Bima outta the dojo so we can get t' work." Somethin' whistled into the room an' I involuntarily ducked into my shell. "Crud, Aireilei, quit shootin' for my head!" I bellowed as it embedded into the wall. One more an' I swear, she's getting' a regular hard kick to the rear!

She peeked into the room. "I was only trying to get your attention!" she growled. Hah! Attention my foot! Then she gave me a poutin' look an'…aw man, I fell apart. Women an' their big eyes!

"What'd ya wanna tell us?"

"I'll help." Another happy camper t' add to our boatload of hullabaloo.

"We're gonna take on the dojo next, so c'mon!" I bolted out the door, followed by the pattering of the midget dragons' feet. I jumped off the top ledge an' started sliding down the hill of rubble. I'm kinda gonna miss it. Well, at the bottom, I tripped and flew into the water in the middle of the Lair. Came up sputterin' like Rijinn after ya dunk him in the bathtub (bein' fire element he hates water, but that doesn't keep him out). "Alright, let's get started!"

Four hours later, we had nearly everybody pitchin' in. Funny how a lone goal turns into a pack goal. LH an' I had cleared away most of the rocks from the monitor wall. Leo, Saesha, an' Donnie were workin' on moving the pile of rubble away from the door. Sure, Saesha had thrown the thing down like it was a wall of cotton when they came home with Rijinn, but it ain't so easy for us. Well, heck, I should say the pipsqueak was doin' the whole job. Don an' Leo were hardly pitchin' in. In fact, I'd say they were standin' aside.

"Hey, LH! Big ol' slab here wants your professional help!" I bellowed, steppin' aside when the brawny croc barreled by me, picked up the slab without much difficulty, an' pitched it effortlessly out the door. "Thanks!"

I could hear Mike gruntin'. Serves the lazy shell right; he never does anythin' 'round here. Oh. _Now _I could see why he was gruntin'. He was tryin' hard to shove aside some fat slab of concrete, complete with sewer pipes runnin' across it. "Here, Mike, lemme help you with that!" Saesha called, liftin' it with her telekinesis. Dang, but I wish I could do that… Mike made a huge show of fallin' on the floor an' groanin' in mock exhaustion. Exhaustion my shell. He'd only been workin' for approximately four minutes I'll bet.

An' you know the rest. Actually, that ain't how it ends, but I'm getting' tired of writin' in this journal. If you ask me, it's a waste of time.

* * *

And that's my sad excuse for an ending! Hope you liked it!

LN


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